I cast Retro-Futurism for it's Warp Cost
Welcome back! Its barely been two months since we last spoke, but it feels like decades... centuries? Millennia??
In this episode of Cardboard Corner, we find ourselves in the future assuming the roles of plucky spacefarers of the interplanar materia in the Magic Cosmos. Explore the ultimate place between places on a spacecraft unless you ARE the spacecraft (note: you can be a spacecraft driving a spacecraft. We still live in the Elephants with Boots timeline, but speaking of boots...)
Its no secret that EDGE OF ETERNITIES has some big shoes to fill being the follow up to the MTG X FINAL FANTASY set, but I have good news for fans both new and returning: this set's got the goods in spades... I mean space, because that's where we are going.
But what are we gonna find when we get there? So much! And how are we getting there? Well that's the segue!
E0E introduces the latest colorless artifact token into the pantheon of added value effects; Landers are such a thing with "2, tap, sac: search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle." which enables a lot of tempo and battlecruiser magic: two things this set seems very interested in doing. On top of giving Naya (so far) plenty of access to incidental ramp, the Terrapact Intimidator also gives your opponent an unsavory choice: either ramp you 2+ turns as early as turn 3, or let you keep a 4/3 on turn 2. That means potentially that your Kavu buddy is modified with +1/+1 counters, which appears to be a strong subtheme in Boros, alongside a body that can trade up or station super efficiently! If that's not enough, its a Kavu! Remember KAVU?
(Ben-itor's note: this guy looks more like a Viashino than a Kavu, except the Viashino don't exist anymore so now Kavu get to snatch their spot. Curse you creature consolidation of 2023!)
Speaking of Station, here's set mechanic number 2! Station is kind of like crewing a vehicle, except the spacecraft or planet gets charge counters equal to the power of the creature you tapped, and if it reaches or exceeds it's threshold, the stationed permanent gains new abilities/stats! The Seriema is a fun one, given that it's cost and charge threshold are relatively low, it's also a fetch, and it plays well in protagonist rich environements. In this celebrity-centric meta, where every other card feels legendary, it feels like the Seriema has plenty of targets and creatures it can shield, assuming you can defend a 5/5. While it might be harder in this format than one'd think, it's not like it dies to bolt, right?
Not that bolt or this bolt (both bolts together tholt, that might do the trick.) Hey, look everyone, we've got a new slowbolt with set mechanic. All you need to do is crack an egg or a rock and wow, that's a pretty great imitation of a Lightning Bolt. If history tells us anything, its that Pauper will never turn down another iteration of the iconic 1 drop, but will Plasma Bolt earn the right to ride alongside its big brother? Only time will tell! But, speaking of set mechanic...
Warp is another new mechanic that plays somewhere in the territory of adventures. The permanent spell gets to be in play for one turn, and then gets wisped away to the exile zone where you can play it again on a later turn. The cool, big brain thing you get to do with this though, is that like Evoke creatures, Warp creatures can be reset by blink effects, so instead of paying 10 mana for three bodies over time, you can have all two on the same turn for 5 or 6 Mana, and give yourself time to set up your hand for the final trigger. Other Warp abilites are also cool, and many of those are Enters triggers instead of Leaves triggers, but I wanted to showcase the Vestige because its an Eldrazi, and its cool to see them leak back into standard. Hello to our horrible horrible blorbos.
Also, welcome to planet Blorbo! As it turns out, some of our new lands also have the Station mechanic, which unlock super potent abilities once fully charged! And who are the progenitors of these nifty planets? Why they're none other than Tolarian College and Gaea's Cradle, two of the most busted lands in MtG history. While these could be more fair interpretations of them, what with having to forgo 12 potential damage just to power them on, there are plenty of value pieces in token-rich mtg that will accelerate the charging and ramp that make these cards' abilities super abusable and under-costed. Magic sure is going places with these far out designs!
For instance, here's WotC going back to Throne of Eldraine, where we first saw Bonecrusher Giant//Stomp, but now with a slight tweak to the formula where 3 mana gets you a firebolt and maybe a flame lash if you're lucky, with potential for more down the road. Its zesty, its fresh, its a dragon with too many eyes!
I <3 Thrive & Modular X. Also, Himb bug.
What if you remade Ichor Wellspring (a pauper all-star) and gave it a way to sac itself and apply board pressure, while netting you +1 card in hand? If that sounds strong, its because it is. Like, Holy Guacamole Batman, if Grixis Eggs still has any legs, I need a playset of these balls stat!
Speaking of keeping all these balls in the air, meet Mm'menon. He's a future sight (take a shot) that turns your artifacts into dorks for casting things not from your hand. By that do you mean Fortell, Flashback, Warp, your Abandoned Sarcophogi, impulsive draw, Commanders, or Adventure alternative casting costs can all be paid by your artifacts?
Why yes, yes I do. Someone is going to break our new Jellyfish Overlord very hard very soon I bet, which will be extra impressive because it has no bones.
Hmm... another rock, what a nice surprise.
One of the things I'll say about this era of magic design is how cards can read as relatively simple but have boatloads of consequence. If you draw a card most of the time a card leaves your hand, your hand size will only grow over the course of the game, generally capping out at 7, allowing you to feed your graveyard at the end of turn, which isn't an explicit advantage of just having a busload of cards in your hand. Also, having your life total reset to 10 (or 20 for you degenerate commander players) means that your opponent will have to arrange an alpha strike if they're going to deal with you. Also, if you don't suspect your opponent of playing instant speed direct damage or artifact removal, you can pay truckloads of life that would otherwise be irresponsible to spend, in order to fuel whatever nasty life-paying tricks you could dare to dream of. 7 is a lot of mana, but that's nothing for tron, and its infinitely cheatable in most of the eternal formats, meaning that all of the implied opportunity can get you working much earlier than turn seven. Much much earlier.
I don't want to be afraid of the rock... but let's just say I'm not letting it out of my sight.
And finally, "Finally, an Arch-Charm in Black!" Its a Swiss Army Knife you can commit to, since its not too heavy while having most of the tools for the job, (whichever job that might be.) There's not much to say about this guy, but I love seeing a cycle gradually completed, and it's nice to see a good lenticular design that rewards you for committing to the color.
Oh, and Tezzeret was there too I guess.
He's no Captain Gabriel Lorca, but as evil captains go, I guess we could have done worse. He's 5'10", so shorter than Jason Isaacs (who played Captain Gabriel Lorca,) and he has all of the mechanics we would have expected on Urza, who to the best of my knowledge does not have a stated height in the Magic the Gathering Lore. What is the measure of a man though? Why did the MtG fandom wiki need me to know that Tezz is of average height, and do they even use inches and feet in the Magic Multiverse? I feel like it'd be especially hard to standardize a system of measurement across a multiverse when you only got a handful of visitors every couple of story arcs, who probably had more on their mind than just spreading the joy of common units. I'm just saying, its very goofy, and also where are your sources??? Cowards and Pigsheads, all of them.
(Ben-itor's note: the top 10 baddest captains of mtg are as follows: Captain Sisay, Vraska, Captain Howler, Beckett Brass, Sami, Adriana, Lannery Storm, then Tezzeret, Siona, and last place is Vargas Wrath. If you don't like the lineup, send me an email and we'll discuss.)
This card is probably very good, but you don't need me to tell you that. Instead, I'm writing this blog post so that I can tell you about this lobster and his girlfriend, the giant cat who eats everyone.
Its very "Magical Christmasland," but you see the dream here right? Picture this: you're playing a normal game of magic, and you get both of these suckers out. Now most of the things that matter are food. Then on the next turn, woah, you pull a Desist or Fade from History and poof, the board vanishes to sponsor Ygra's 5-Color Mukbang, and then she attacks for ONE MILLION. The end. Checkmate. Goodbye.
I think the replacement effects are interesting, given the importance of Liquimetal Coating back in the day and how far we've come on typal change. Even though its only your artifacts that Ragost is food-ifying, the flexibility of manipulating either player's life total lends itself to control schemes that support pillow-forting and bolting your opponent each turn you gain life. Make it Jeskai with the Cryogen Relic, or Mardu with the Grim Baubles. Really, whatever you want to cook up with this crustacean is probably going to be awesome. If anything, Ragost has excellent taste!
Can you believe that's just the tip of the Iceburg... Ice-meteor, space thingy? Megacryometeor! There's a word for everything, but today the word we're feeling is "excited" when we look over the still-spoiling set that is Edge of Eternities. What cards have you strapping on your jump packs and reaching for the stars? Let us know this week and the next as we prepare for the Prerelease Events starting July 25th, and ready your Preorders as well! As always, its been a blast! Have a great week y'all, and thanks for joining us at the very Edge of the Cardboard Corner.
Ben Doane has been a member of the Pandemonium Team since 2019, and has been playing wargames, rpgs, and tcgs since 2004 and earlier. When not blogging, Ben runs the wargames and mailing departments, and also puts together the store's newsletters. Her current favorite book is Bowling with Corpses by Mike Mignola.