Finish Him (him being a pile of books)

The pile got big this year you guys. It has hands and it will fight me.

Tsundoku is a Japanese term used to describe the collecting of reading materials to read later, but then never getting around to it. Originally it was popularized in the Meiji era, but I became familiar with Tsundoku during the Marie Kondo period, where everyone was discovering minimalism again, and also Sweedish Death Cleaning. I saw the usage of the term peak with the heyday of Booktok and the revitalization of Booktube, where talking bust hosts had enormous libraries behind them for atmosphere, but as recognition sunk in, I realized that my collection was anything but aesthetic. Despite my best efforts, my shelves are full and I've surrounded myself with stacks of books that are waiting, like predatory jungle cats in the shadows, waiting to strike (or topple) when the opportunity arises.

"Find what you love and let it kill you," Jack Kirby said. Actually, it was Bukowski, but I think Jack said it too. However, as much as I love books, I don't have any intention of losing a fight with a book, and so this year I'm approaching it a bit differently. I'm inspired by the fighting game tournaments I used to play in as a kid, where you and your friends white knuckle the controllers, mashing buttons for glory and bragging rights and a chance to take the crown. On the wall next to a grimy CRT TV we kept a white board with brackets, and someone was always glued to it with a marker, riling the crowd of preteens like a carnival barker, if they were small and had frosted tips.

The aughts sure were a time.

 

How does this work with books though? 

I've got a few ideas.

1.  Put me in coach - Put your name in a bracket, against the first book that you're gonna "fight." and fill out the rest of the slots with the rest of your books. After you win (c'mon champ, you're gonna win.) you can pick another pairing and choose the outcome of that match based on your interest in the titles that are there. Keep repeating this process until you win the tourney, and then just start a new one, but with the books that didn't get read in the last event.
   
2. Theme Match - put only book names in brackets, and pick a match to start with, choosing a quality to compare and contrast between the two books. Finish both and then determine the better book based on your criteria, and then move it up to the next bracket. Rinse and repeat until a winner is determined.

Those are the plans (I'll pick one later,) but what are the books? You know, the ones that are jungle cats, that made me quote Bukowski, that are looming over my bed waiting to murdle me in my sleep?

Well I'm glad you asked. Here are some of them in no particular order.

Greenteeth by Molly O'Neil

What's it about? - A new pastor comes to town and starts sniffing out witches, resulting in probably-not-a-witch Temperance having a wet and wild meet-cute with the monster that lives in the lake.

Why'd I get it? - I love Jenny/Ginny Greenteeth, in the folklore sense (we've actually never met, but I think we'd have a lot in common.) There's just something about being green, hanging out in a body of water, and eating children that I really relate to, and ...

OK, I ACTUALLY read about her in Mignola's Hellboy (as opposed to that other Hellboy) and this sounded really cute, ok? And T. Kingfisher said it was cool. When Kingfisher and Mignola both say something is cool, I listen, ok?

The Magician of Tiger Castle by Louis Sachar

What's it about? - A princess and her kingdom are in peril, and right before her wedding she falls in love not with her betrothed, but a lowly scribe. Now her father and his magician of ill repute must put the wedding back on course, but will the magician betray the princess, the only person who still believes in him? I don't know, I haven't read the book, but hopefully not?

Why'd I get it? - About four months ago I found a copy of "sideways stories of the wayside school," and was immediately transported to a time where that was my jam. Honestly the copy could have been mine from third grade given how beat to heck it was. Anyhow, while it was disintegrating in my hands, I wondered what Louis was up to these days, and then I found out that it wasn't a sequel to Holes. It was this, so I got it, and now I have to read it.

Slewfoot by Brom

What's it about? - In 1666, a Connecticut community comes to blows with an ancient spirit that a lonely outcast has turned to for help. While Puritanical and Pagan cultures clash, blood and fire threaten to overtake the land, in the ultimate battle of faith.

Why'd I get it? - Before Brom wrote books, he illustrated Magic cards, and as you can see from the cover, he was pretty good at it. Although I don't know whether or not his atmosphere translates to prose, there were 24 paintings in the book, and on first flip those were cool. Hopefully the rest of the book can cash the check his art is writing. Only one way to find out!

Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

What's it about? - Montserrat and Tristan are on the edge of the film industry after getting squeezed out by the boy's club and the new boys. Their last chance on getting their footing back in Tinseltown might just be helping a reclusive but renowned director finish the final scene of his final movie, but there's a hitch: the movie is cursed.

Why'd I get it? - My Ex-coworker Eddie, told me about how much he liked Mexican Gothic, and then my partner Isaac read this and the enthusiasm was maintained. I borrowed this from them, and never gave it back, so I guess its mine now. My responsibility or my Damoclesian Sword, forever to dangle above my head until I finish the pile of books at the head of my bed?

Probably.

The Nighthouse Keeper by Lora Senf

What's it about? - The ghosts of Blight Harbor have begun to disappear, and Evie has a hunch that she knows who's taking them. 

Why'd I get it? - I really liked the first one, and as far as I've read, this series is more or less my platonic ideal for middle-grade horror, a genre that I have a lot of interest in as an author and opinionated studier of things. Some of the scariest stories are those that transcend the age bracket of their target audience, working within their inherent constraints to relate dread, concern, and revulsion on a level all can appreciate and understand. The Clackity was that for me, and I'm more than eager to see if The Nighthouse Keeper can continue to scratch that itch that its predecessor satiated so well.

The Staircase in the Woods by Chuck Wendig

What's it about? - Twenty years ago, their friend went up a staircase in the woods, and they never came back down. Now its back, and the survivors of that encounter gear up to learn what happened to their friend, and what, if anything, is past... the staircase in the woods.

Why'd I get it? - this post on r/nosleep lives rent free in my head.

I'm an absolute sucker when it comes to Creepypasta and Analog Horror stories being adapted into other mediums, and while many of them are bad, the handful that aren't are truly some of the most fun I've had in a while.

Book of Night by Holly Black

What's it about? - a magical catburgler is unwillingly pulled back into her old life of crime, and now must pull one last job to save everyone she loves, and the new life she's built.

Why'd I get it? - Holly Black kicks so much butt. I'm utterly taken by the proposition of the gloamists, magicians who manipulate shadows to steal secrets, and she picked my favorite monster to be the horde enemy of the book, dopplegangers who can steal your face (and give you really weird stuff to talk about in therapy.) Its a match made in heaven, specifically for me, which is only made cooler by dint of the protagonist being a super smooth, down on her luck rogue (not relatable at all,) who I can't wait to see make bad, weirder, and worse choices.

Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer

What's it about? - Evie Sage answers an ad and becomes the sunshine and bubblegum assistant to the most infamous villain in all of Rennedawn. Fantasy Rom-Com hijinks ensue, but what's a girl to do when an even badder baddie sets their sights on their new employer?

Why'd I get it? - Joey put it in my hands and walked away, and I didn't know what else to do. On further inspection, this looks like a spicy twist on Nimona, which could be good if that's a vibe you vibe with. Also, its heavy, which means you can use it to press things. We love a multipurpose book.

And that's that! Happy reading folks! Don't get got by the pile at the head, (foot, and sides) of your bed!

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Ben Doane has been a member of the Pandemonium Team since 2019, and has been playing wargames, rpgs, and tcgs since 2004 and earlier. When not blogging, Ben runs the wargames and mailing departments, and also puts together the store's newsletters. Her current favorite book is Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman.