{"product_id":"crapland-2","title":"Crapland 2","description":"\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cem\u003e“It’s based on the absurd premise that you’ve slipped in a convenience store and now you are cursed to wake as a convenience store at some crappy interval. Cool, right? Terrible, right? Doesn’t make any sense? Perfect.”\u003c\/em\u003e- Crapland 2, The Author\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe like to think of it as Bored Surrealism. It’s definitely inspired by David Lynch’s Dumbland.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost of all, it’s internally consistent and takes itself seriously while also being an absurdist commentary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s New in Issue #2?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e(Yes I’m about to enumerate the table of contents)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD33 things you find in a crap-mart parking lot\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(self-explanatory)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD6 things happening outside a we’re-mart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(self-explanatory)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRules for we’re-mart creation\u003c\/strong\u003e. Finding out how and when you slipped and what kind of store you become. Including a demonic true name generator for stores.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD6 new convenience store character backgrounds\u003c\/strong\u003e: each one a different type of store, ranging from Butcher Shop to Print Shops and Delis.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD3 new non-convenience store backgrounds\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(you know like Craptor 76, Delivery Drivers, and Customers)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD6 new customers that frequent the stores\u003c\/strong\u003e. Like the guy who loves potato chips, Clarice IV the Craptor Queen, and Clarice with the Green Hair.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e3d3 department stores\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eready to wreak havoc on the local populace. Pastries, Linens, Chainsaws… the usual.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eA department store turned demonic giant\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ewith over 18 hardpoints (see Ternwillow) \/ departments built in. Concert Stages, Coffee Stands, Gold Buyers, Drone Salesmen.. You know a normal mall.. I mean department store\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD33 pieces of equipment not previously appearing in crapland\u003c\/strong\u003e. Including Sticks, Tickets for Crapet Airlines, and an\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eIntercooler for Your Mom’s Ex-BF’s Car\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eA strange beast made of segments of televisions\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e(not going into it)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD3 shows on tv and HOW they affect you\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e(like the C.R.A.P. that show that everyone tunes into)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD33 actors that show up in films and tv\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(like the Action Hero who’s turned to comedy, or that person that looks like another actor)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD33 extras that appear in these films\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(they mostly just stare at the screen)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD33 commercials\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ethat bombard you with the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eEFFECTS\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003eof subliminal messaging.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD33 cartridge spells\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ethat really are just games that you have to master before casting.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD666 miens\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(216 entries) look sometimes you just want to roll 3 dice to find out how someone is feeling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD33 equipment for adventures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ethings like game consoles, cartridges, craptor jackets, or maybe just a bucket of fish.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD6 new adventures + endings\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ejust go on them.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD6 encounters in a crap-mart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(what will you run into)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eD6 encounters after leaving a we’re-mart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(oh… what’s going on NOW!!?!?!)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA very loose admittance that 2 gods live in the craplands\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCredits\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWriting: Sean Richer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEditing: Jarrett Crader (MRC)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eART: Anxiety Wizard + Sean Richer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCover: Andrew Walter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLayout and Design: Anxiety Wizard\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e68 Pages, A4, Perfect Bound Book, Color. Includes PDF.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eOffering of Dark Space Nachoes\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“Crapland 2” is an independent production by Orbital Intelligence, LLC and is not affiliated with the Melsonian Arts Council.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"EXALTED FUNERAL PRESS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45501616750768,"sku":"EFRPGCL2","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2341\/9361\/files\/crapland-2-pdf-zine-543103.webp?v=1785861716","url":"https:\/\/pandemoniumbooks.com\/products\/crapland-2","provider":"Pandemonium Books and Games","version":"1.0","type":"link"}